From: neu111
Date: 01/25/2008 |
Beautiful. All the details, images, scents.. feelings - everything, not forgetting the story!
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From: Luzula (luzulae@gmail.com)
Date: 01/14/2008 |
Wow, this is absolutely gorgeous. This story made my heart ache, for both of them--Fraser's longing while he's watching Ray, and Ray, who's willing to do anything to make Fraser happy. It's not a long story, but it really touched me.
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From: rosiespark (rosiespark@hotmail.com)
Date: 01/13/2008 |
Ooh, the last line! It actually made me shiver. Echoes of Fraser with Victoria, no? I also caught a glimpse of Victoria when Gina "tosses her long dark mane of curls" and Fraser flinches.
Only this time, it'll all end well, RIGHT? *g*
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From: keerawa (keerawa@yahoo.com)
Date: 01/13/2008 |
OK, I'm back again for a re-read. This story blows me away. Your descriptions of Ray capture him so beautifully, the way he moves. The sheer longing in Fraser, the need, and then to have it returned. Excellent work.
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From: kristiinthedark (kristiinthedark@gmail.com)
Date: 01/10/2008 |
I read this a cuople weeks ago, but foolishly didn't comment (anonominity, oi.) and then forgot to go back. So, so sorry, because whoa, I adore this! So lovely and it made me melt.
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From: akamine_chan (akaminechan@gmail.com)
Date: 01/04/2008 |
Oh, this was so beautiful in an angsty way. There were so many things I liked about this...the dance floor scene and how Fraser hungers for Ray, but can't reach out for what he wants, the way Fraser sublimates his feeling for Ray until it becomes a physical ache.
But what I really loved was Ray having to coax Fraser out of the car and saying, "You need this, okay? You deserve... God, you deserve everything, Fraser. Let me give you just this one thing, okay? Just, Merry Christmas, happy solstice, happy Inuit winter-fun festival, whatever."
Ray has such love and need for Fraser and this story shines a spotlight on that. Ray wanting to make Fraser feel at home so he won't leave, so he'll be happy in Chicago.
I have such love for this story; it made me cry and it made me ache. Good job, Dess.
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From: jamethiel_bane (jamethiel.bane@gmail.com)
Date: 01/01/2008 |
... first of all, my ABJECT apologies. Because I pulled out of the exchange I didn't bother to check whether I had received a story, because I assumed I hadn't. And my internet access is very spotty and intermittent and so I hadn't gotten around to reading this yet.
And I am so glad I have. This is FANTASTIC. The--the utter FOCUS that Fraser has on Ray. How he is processing an enormous amount of information and it just all, he is so totally into Ray that everything else just fades.
And Ray! Eeeee! That he loves Fraser so, SO much that he is prepared to do anything to get Fraser to stay. Up to an including finding him a woman.
Beautiful observation, gorgeous imagery. WELL DONE!!!
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From: Zebra (zebra363@livejournal.com)
Date: 12/31/2007 |
"Look, Gina's a nice girl, and she's got, she's got that long dark hair you like, and she's feisty, she's tough like Janet--she's what you like, isn't she? Isn't she what you like?"
Oh, I haven't seen this done before. Ray's trying so hard to make things good for Fraser! I like the ending.
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From: viciouscats
Date: 12/29/2007 |
This is amazing. So, so beautiful. I have no words for how much I loved it. Wow.
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From: Iggy (ignazwisdom@gmail.com)
Date: 12/28/2007 |
Oh, this was *fantastic*. The imagery was so vivid and beautiful
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From: kisiti (kisiti@livejournal.com)
Date: 12/28/2007 |
This is sensuously detailed, tense, and near heartbreaking. Stunning. Thank you.
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From: bluebrocade (bluebrocade@livejournal.com)
Date: 12/28/2007 |
That was lovely. It made me cry.
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From: Arrow (artemis.arrow@yahoo.com)
Date: 12/27/2007 |
Oh, this broke my heart into pieces with the wonderful tension and yet the easy charm of it, the perfect construction. The gorgeous resolution.
The look in Ray's eyes.
So, so wonderful.
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From: keerawa (keerawa@yahoo.com)
Date: 12/27/2007 |
What wonderful, sensual imagery in this story! That opening with Ray dancing with the two women had both me and Fraser tied up in knots. Then, in the car, Fraser focusing on separating out their scents, intensified by the heat of the dancing.
God, poor Ray, trying to find Fraer a woman, someone his type, so that he'll be happy in Chicago and STAY.
*smooches them both together*
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From: Stars (simplystars@livejournal.com)
Date: 12/27/2007 |
This is another story I read right away but didn't comment on, since it seemed the proper thing to let the recipient have first reply. But now others have commented too, so I can! :D
This idea - just, wow. The image of Fraser watching Ray dance, and watching Ray dance like *that*, and Ray purposefully seeking a woman he thinks to be to Fraser's tastes - *luring* him in, trying to coax him up to the apartment - *flail* The quality of their desperation - Ray to make a connection, Fraser to flee any - and the subtlety of the last line, right after the emotional payoff. Just. Great googly moogly. This is stunning and fabulous.
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From: Nos4a2no9 (nos4a2no9@gmail.com)
Date: 12/26/2007 |
This is a beautiful little gem of a story. It's expertly crafted and executed with a lot of well-chosen detail and careful attention to character. Every moment felt perfect, and each small beat of the story was perfectly true to Ray and Fraser and their whole dynamic. Your take on Fraser and his devotion to Ray takes on a whole new level of sensuality in that first paragraph where Fraser watches Ray dance. The description of that took my breath away, and I was so impressed by all of the erotic details you were able to include. The visual of Ray on the dance floor with two women had an extra layer of sexual energy as a result, and it made the whole story sizzle. That all of this was filtered through *Fraser*'s point of view made the story all the more unique: we don't often get to see Fraser in a situation where he's completely at the mercy of his own desires, and I felt his raw need keenly in those passages.
And Ray! Ray here blew me away. He doesn't have a lot of dialogue (he's mainly a physical force, a locus of energy and desire and longing for Fraser, and that's absolutely appropriate) but what he does say counts. His stuttered explanation in the car was heartbreaking, and it made my heart twist to think of the love behind his actions, the way he cares for Fraser so honestly, so truly. It's a beautiful thing.
The resolution was textbook creative writing: the story begins with this detailed visual/sensual description and concludes with this wonderful verbal declaration. You completed the whole narrative cycle gracefully and so skillfully I didn't really notice what you'd done until it was over, and so of course I had to rush back and reread. Amazing work, Anonymous! This one is definitely a keeper!
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From: sage
Date: 12/26/2007 |
oh, that's nicely set up, and such lovely detail. :)
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From: Isis (isiscolo@gmail.com)
Date: 12/26/2007 |
I like the atmospheric feel and the understated ending!
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From: J S Cavalcante
Date: 12/25/2007 |
Ohmygod. Ohmygod, this is BEAUTIFUL. Just stunningly beautiful. Imagery, atmosphere, emotion all work so well together here, and are expertly handled. Also, Fraser's reason for coming back to Chicago is absolutely right on target, IMHO. I think he would, and that's why: he's needed, not just by Ray, but by all the people he can help.
And I want to see the rest of this story. Not because it isn't complete--it really is, it's a gorgeous poem of a story. But because Fraser's longing is put across so palpably...that I want to us to get the satisfaction of it, just as palpably. *sigh* God, I love Ray so much in this story. He's brilliant, and he'd do this for Fraser. He'd do anything. You made me love both characters more than ever, and that's the best gift you can give a fan, I think. I adore you for writing this.
And again, such exquisitely beautiful writing. An absolute gem.
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