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Shoe-In
for sam80853
Author's Notes: This wouldn't have happened without Brooklinegirl, who helped me map it out, MrsRonWeasley, who beta'ed and beta'ed and beta'd, and came up with the title, and theantichris, who assured me that it was ready to post, that crudites has an s, and that it's teakettle, not tea kettle. Thanks, you wonderful friends!
Ray stood inside the doors of the two-seven staring out at the snow. It figured that the one time he stayed after shift to finish up his case notes so he could be well and truly off duty for his three-day Christmas holiday, Chicago would get hit by a freak snowstorm that dumped two and a half feet of snow in two hours instead of the predicted six inches, effectively trapping him at the station until the city could dig itself out. Even though all he had to go home to was an empty apartment, alone on Christmas Eve at home beat the hell out of being stuck at the station. Off duty.
If only Fraser hadn't had some stupid thing he had to go to at the Consulate. He would have finished Ray's paperwork in half the time it took Ray, and they would have been settled in with a movie, real hot cocoa made with cream and mini-marshmallows, and a Dief blanket before the snow even thought about getting serious. And the bonus? Fraser would have been forced to stay the night, after a token protest about regularly walking a bazillion kilowhatevers in worse storms than this. Fraser would have given in without Ray even really having to try, though, because as few needs as Fraser admitted to having, they both knew that no one should have to spend Christmas Eve in their office. Like Ray was now.
It was maybe for the best, anyway, since these days, time alone with Fraser outside of work tended to give Ray urges to do things to Fraser that he wasn't sure would be welcome. On the other hand, he wasn't sure they'd be unwelcome. They'd been working a vibe for what felt like ages. At least Ray had been - with Fraser, it was hard to tell.
He had seemed kind of unhappy when he'd told Ray about needing to be on duty that night. Ray liked that Fraser had assumed they'd be doing something together. Maybe it was just a friends-and-partners thing, maybe not. But Ray was getting tired of waiting. He was almost ready to know, one way or the other.
With a final disgusted glance at the white-coated view, Ray shook out his shoulders and headed back to his desk. If he was stuck anyway, he might as well take another look at the Zednik file. Maybe he'd catch something he'd missed before. Maybe it'd keep him from being so damn jittery.
For once, the usual circus that performed at the two-seven had found a different stage. The skeleton crew of officers and support staff stuck working were in quiet clumps throughout the station.
The bullpen was empty. Someone had left a radio on, Christmas carols playing quietly. Ray took a second to appreciate the view of the top of his desk - cleaning it off had been his first time-killer - before pulling out the Zednik file from the basket that now held only his open casework, tilting back in the chair, and propping his feet on the corner of the desk. He flipped through the report, then tipped his head back and closed his eyes to try to see how the robbery could have gone down, foot bouncing with frustration.
The wolf nails clicking on the linoleum barely registered before Ray had a slobbery tongue in his ear. He eyes shot open as he grabbed at Dief, trying to pull him off and right his chair at the same time before it dumped him ass over teakettle.
The chair steadied on its own, even leaning back as it was. Ray flopped his head back so he could meet Fraser's eyes. The top of Ray's head was practically in Fraser's stomach, but Fraser didn't seem to mind. Maybe he couldn't feel it through his giant parka.
"Merry Christmas, Ray," Fraser said with a smile.
"Right back atcha. Thanks for the save," Ray grinned right back. He only just managed not to rub his head against Fraser like a cat.
Fraser made his 'I've about had it with Dief' face, except he probably thought it using bigger words, and he sounded, yeah, a little pissed at Dief, but somehow not at all pissed at Ray when he said, "It hardly seems like you should thank me. If it weren't for my irresponsible companion, you would have been just fine."
Ray felt warm all the way down to his toes just from the sound of Fraser's voice, which was not the best thing considering they were in the middle of the bullpen. His mouth also seemed to be disconnected from his brain, because there was no other explanation for what popped out of it. "I can see up your nose."
"Ah," Fraser said, and gently set the chair back down on all four wheels. "Any new insights into the, um," he glanced at the file in Ray's lap, which had miraculously survived the wolf attack intact, "Zednik case?"
"Not a thing," said Ray. "I was mostly trying to kill time until the roads were clear enough for me to get out of here. How'd you get here, anyway? And, not that I'm complaining or nothing, but what are you doing here?"
"I got here on foot, of course, since I don't have access to a vehicle. Although given the condition of the roads, snowshoes seemed more advisable in any case," Fraser answered with a nod over Ray's shoulder.
Ray twisted back and yep, those were snowshoes leaning against the wall behind Ray's desk.
"Of course you snowshoed here, I should have known. So there's the how. How 'bout the why?"
Fraser turned a little pink, started to tug at his collar, but seemed to remember a second before his hand hit it that he wasn't in uniform. He went for the eyebrow rub instead.
"Let's just say there was an incident involving three cheese logs and deaf half-wolf."
"Ugh."
"Indeed. It seemed prudent, given the effects of such a quantity of dairy on the lupine digestive system, to remove Diefenbaker from the premises." Fraser looked kind of grossed out, which meant it had to have been seriously vile.
"Prudent, yeah. Where is the furface, anyway?"
Fraser looked around. "Diefenbaker, get away from the tree! Haven't you had enough trouble for one day?"
Dief whined and trotted over to Ray's desk, deliberately turned his back on them, and lay down.
Fraser snorted in disgust. "Since I obviously couldn't participate in the Consulate Christmas party if Dief needed to be outdoors for an extended period of time, I though we could try to find some silver lining to the debacle."
Fraser unzipped his coat. "I had snowshoes in my office, and brisk walks are known to speed the completion of intestinal distress, so here we are."
He swung the backpack of his back and set it on Ray's desk. "And I brought dinner."
Officer Klepis stuck her head in the bullpen. Her face lit up when she saw Fraser. "Hey, we're forwarding the phones over to Booking and having a little party there, if you want to join us, Constable Fraser."
Ray was used to being ignored when Fraser was around; it didn't even bother him anymore, except for Fraser didn't want the attention and also, it was impolite. Ray cleared his throat loudly.
"You, too, Ray." She didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed.
"Ah, thank you kindly -"
"But we're right in the middle of something here."
"Perhaps once we're done-"
This time Ray smiled when he cut Fraser off. "We'll maybe stop by, okay? Thanks. Go have fun. Merry Christmas and all that jazz."
"Okay. I hope we'll see you up there." With a final eager smile at Fraser, she left.
"Hah," Ray muttered. "I bet you do. Don't let the door-"
"Ray!"
Ray grinned. "Look, I'm just protecting my rep." And you,he didn't say out loud. It was ridiculous thinking Fraser couldn't take care of himself, but if Ray could help deflect even one unwelcome advance, well, that was buddies. It didn't have a thing to do with jealousy. At least that's what he kept telling himself.
Fraser didn't look convinced, so Ray changed the subject. "Whatcha got in the bag?"
Fraser began to pull out containers. "Cheese puffs, stuffed mushroom caps, miniature crab cakes, meatballs and assorted crudites."
"Crudi what?"
"Cut-up vegetables."
"Why didn't you say so?"
"I just did. Shall we set up in the break room or here?"
Ray shrugged. "If we set up here, people will probably leave us alone. And it ain't like I don't got the holiday spirit, but I'm off duty, you know?" And I don't want to share you.
"Very well," Fraser agreed, and began to remove paper goods from the pack. "And may I compliment you on the tidiness of your workspace, Ray."
Ray shrugged again. "I was bored and it's not like I could leave."
Fraser paused, one hand in his pack. "You know, if you want to go home, we could always walk."
Ray snorted. "Yeah, right. It's over four miles to my apartment. I wouldn't want to walk it in perfect weather, let alone in a blizzard."
"It wouldn't take that-"
"I'm starved. How's about we eat and we can talk about it after."
Ray sat back with his loaded-down plate, his knee still bouncing, but feeling much calmer than he had before Fraser showed up. All in all, it was a nice little spread they got set up, complete with holiday plates and napkins and a thermos of unspiked eggnog. They even had the mood music and the tree. The only thing missing was mistletoe. Ray could have used that as an excuse to cup Fraser's cheek in his hand, the stubble almost tickling. But then their lips would touch, the electric slide of tongue on tongue...
Crap. Not in the office, of all places. Ray could tell his cheeks had flushed, but when he looked up, Fraser was focused on Dief.
"No, you may not have even one bite. Need I remind you that you consumed three and a half cheese logs in the space of five minutes not three hours ago?" Ah, pissy Fraser. Dief was probably the only one who could make Fraser snippy faster than even Ray.
Dief yipped.
"I am well aware that your stomach is now empty, and it's going to stay that way. Once we get home, you may have some kibble and as much water as you can drink."
Jeez, Fraser would be a tough dad. But it seemed like he'd learned from a master.
Dief groaned. Ray thought Fraser was probably right, but it was Christmas, after all.
"Tell you what, buddy," Ray said. "I got kibble at my place and I also got donuts. You prove you're over your intestinal whatevers tonight and tomorrow you can have a donut from Christmas breakfast, okay?" When he looked up, Fraser was smiling at him again.
This was not just any smile. This was like the sun in July or a spotlight on a dark stage. It felt like a promise. Ray's heart stuttered in his chest, then restarted at double time. This was not the way a guy looked at his best buddy or partner, unless it was another kind of partner altogether. Ray knew that look, had seen it in the mirror every time he looked in one from the time he was thirteen until Stella closed the door behind her for the last time.
It was like all his questions were about to be answered after a lifetime of asking, like they were finally going to actually do something about this thing between them. And it was great that Fraser hadn't objected when Ray basically said that he and Dief were going to spend the night at his place. But before he crossed the line, Ray had to be sure. Instinct was fine, instinct was a necessity, but this was too important. He needed proof. And he thought he knew how to get it.
Ray pulled open his middle desk drawer, set a flat box on the desk, and pushed it across to Fraser. "Merry Christmas."
Fraser leaned over and pulled a small box out of his pack and set in front of Ray.
"You first," Ray said. He hoped Fraser would understand what he was trying to say with his gift. With any luck, Fraser's reaction would tell him just what he needed to know.
"If you wish." Fraser removed the lid and set it aside. "Oh, Ray," he breathed, picking up the dreamcatcher. If people could glow, man. Fraser was lit up like a nuclear reaction.
"It ain't perfect, but I made it myself. That's the eagle feather from yours. The dreamcatcher got smashed when my place got tossed, but the feather seemed okay. And since it's a national symbol and all, it seemed like it should have some special purpose, so..."
"Thank you, Ray. It's perfect. I shall treasure it." Fraser gently returned it to its box, that incredible smile back on his face. "Your turn."
The box in front of Ray was small, about the size of the ones he used to get when he bought Stella earrings. He shook it, just to see the look on Fraser's face, the fake irritated one he got that said he knew Ray was yanking his chain, but he was going to play along anyway. Something was sliding around in there, but what it might be, Ray had no clue.
He took off the lid and tipped the contents into his other hand. A length of chain fell into it, the small round metal beads reflecting the lights from Christmas tree. Ray just stared.
"I noticed yours broke during the scuffle with Brashear," Fraser said softly. "I hope you don't think it was presumptuous-"
"No, it's great." Ray swallowed hard, trying to get past the lump in his throat. "My wrist felt, I don't know, weird without it, but we've been too swamped for me to have the time to replace it. Thanks, buddy." Ray pulled back the cuff of his sweatshirt and held out the bracelet and his wrist to Fraser.
He'd been wearing the same kind of bracelet since he was fourteen, replacing it when he had to. And in all the years he'd been with Stella, she'd never once noticed when it broke or when he got a new one, when he was wearing it and when he wasn't.
Fraser took the bracelet and wrapped it around Ray's wrist. When his fingers brushed Ray's skin, Ray felt like he'd been shocked, an electric current running up his arm and down to his groin. And damned if the whole thing wasn't exactly the evidence Ray'd been waiting for.
Fraser closed the clasp, but before he could move away, Ray clutched his hand and led him away from the desk, dropping Fraser's hand to wrap an arm around his shoulder once they were side by side.
"So it's like this," Ray said, opening the door to the supply closet and guiding Fraser in with a hand on his lower back. He gripped Fraser's shirt to keep him from turning on the light and closed the door behind them. It was almost totally black, the only light a thin line bleeding under the door.
"It's like this," he repeated, his heart galloping, terrified and excited all at once. "We're standing under mistletoe."
"There's mistletoe in the supply closet?" Rau could practically hear the gears clicking away in Fraser's head.
"That's what I said. Now what are you-"
Fraser swallowed the rest of Ray's words. Almost literally. He brought a warm hand to Ray's cheek to hold him in place and nibbled at Ray's mouth. When his tongue touched between Ray's lips, Ray opened to him. Their tongues met and it was like the electric jolt from before, only this time all the hairs on his body stood on end.
Ray gasped, and Fraser took it as an invitation to investigate every millimeter of Ray's mouth with the same thoroughness he devoted to everything else he did. Ray tried to give back as well as he got, but with his stomach liquefying with slow-burning pleasure, he mostly felt like he was just hanging on for the ride. Ray found himself pressed back against the door, grateful for something solid to keep him from losing himself entirely in Fraser's taste, smell, touch.
Ray broke away only when he though he might die if he didn't breathe. He could feel Fraser breathing hard, too. It made Ray feel better about his own panting breath and the uncomfortable tightness in his jeans. If Fraser felt it, too, then it must be right. Ray wasn't alone in it.
Ray was obviously suffering from oxygen deprivation or something, because when he opened his mouth, he whispered the first thing that came to mind. "Since the invention of the kiss, there have been only five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind."
He could feel Fraser's smile on his neck in recognition. "As you wish," Fraser whispered back.
And right there, Ray had won the fucking lottery. Benton Fraser understood exactly what Ray was talking about, no explanations needed. He just knew. Every time. What Ray knew was that they had to get the fuck out of there. "Hey, I'm turning on the light," he said, groping for the chain one-handed so he wouldn't have to let go of Fraser. "So how long do you think it'll take to walk to my place in all this snow?"
"Once you've acclimated to the snowshoes, we should be able to move fairly quickly. Even if we don't push it, we should be able to do it in sixty to ninety minutes," Fraser said, his voice rough in Ray's ear.
"You can move that quick in your boots?" Because Ray'd only seen the one pair of snowshoes.
"Not at all. But I left my snowshoes in the locker room shower. I didn't want to drip all over the station," Fraser explained, with perfect Fraser logic and planning.
Ray pulled him into another kiss. "Fraser, you are brilliant. I love you." Right after it slipped out, he froze.
Fraser looked startled, too, and scared, maybe, but looked him right in the eyes like Ray had the answer if only he searched hard enough. After a pause that seemed to stretch for years, Fraser asked, "Like a brother?"
Ray was struck once again by how incredibly brave Fraser was, and he deserved no less from Ray. He locked his gaze with Fraser's and he could see fear, yeah, but also hope. Fraser needed proof as much as Ray did. Knowing how much was riding on getting the words exactly right, Ray finally settled for the truth. "I hope not, since I'm pretty sure what I've got planned for you is illegal between brothers in all fifty states and Canada, too."
Ray could almost feel the relief rolling off of Fraser, could see the fear replaced by something else, something hot and dangerous.
"Understood. Was that hard to say?" Fraser asked.
"Not in the least," said Ray. And Fraser didn't say it back or anything, but if he kept staring at Ray like that, Ray might self-combust, and the last thing he wanted, for too many reasons to list, was for their first time together to be quick and quiet in the station's supply closet. He needed to hear the noises Fraser made when Ray touched and licked and sucked him. Ray needed to know what Fraser looked like, what he sounded like, when he came from Ray loving him. He needed to know what Fraser looked like when he woke up in the morning naked and sticky from the night before, the opposite of his usual untouchable look, and to make him sweaty and sticky all over again. And for that, they needed Ray's bed. Which meant they needed Ray's apartment.
Ray gave himself a mental shake. Fraser was waiting.
"You go pack up your stuff and I'll get your snowshoes. I got the ingredients at home from spiced cider and real hot chocolate. You can take your pick. And I got mini-marshmallows," Ray said, flinging open the door to the closet. "Let's make tracks."
"I am all over that," Fraser said with a grin, even though it came out sounding like he'd never said those particular words before. "And, Ray?"
Ray stopped and looked back at Fraser.
"I, you."
Ray laughed and the knot in his stomach that had been there since the 'I love you' first slipped out finally relaxed. "Fraser, my friend, I am so fu- incredibly happy to hear that."
"I must admit, it makes me incredibly happy to finally be able to say it."
And there was that smile again. They had better get out of there now, or for sure, since they were in the station, they were going to get arrested for public lewdness and indecent exposure and probably a bunch of other stuff, too. "Let's see if we can get out of here in the next five minutes. I don't know how long I can wait," Ray said urgently.
"Deal," Fraser said, a gleam in his eye that made Ray think Fraser was feeling pretty damn urgent himself.
Ray ran for the locker room. Looked like it was going to be a damn merry Christmas after all.
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