| |
Need, Want, Love
for Lordessrenegade
Author's Notes: Thank you kindly to Ultra_chrome for betaing this for me at very short notice.
Need, Want, Love
I have served as an officer of the peace for many years and as such I have undergone several sessions of the necessary sensitivity training. Over the course of my career I have been exposed to many types of people. It is not only members of the heterosexual, normative gender community that are victims (and indeed perpetrators) of crimes. And yet, for some reason, the people around me persist in ascribing unbelievable levels of naivete to my character.
I have never considered myself a prudish man. Despite what others may think of me I fully understand that the human body has certain needs and there is nothing to be gained from denying these needs. And I am fully aware different people have different types of needs. I have never felt the desire to discriminate or condemn someone because of those needs. Indeed I have endeavoured to treat all people equally, regardless of what I know or suspect their needs to be, in the same way as I attribute equal intelligence and sensitivity to those of different ethnic or socio-economic backgrounds. And this consideration is viewed as ignorance!
I suppose I should be grateful that such assumptions shield my own needs from closer inspection. I am well aware that the majority of my American colleagues are not as open-minded as I attempt to be. And my needs are somewhat different from the norm.
Because, after much soul searching, I have come to the realisation that I need both Ray Kowalski and Ray Vecchio in my life. I need Ray Kowalski's energy, his enthusiasm, his willingness to challenge me when I'm being self-righteous and stubborn. And I need Ray Vecchio's friendship, his composure, his quiet and unwavering devotion.
I was too afraid to voice what I felt for Ray Vecchio in the years we worked together before he left for Las Vegas. And then Ray Kowalski entered my life in a whirlwind of noise and colour and I was blown away. Our relationship progressed quickly; I did not want to make the mistake I made with Ray Vecchio, I did not want to be left behind again. I became dependent on Ray Kowalski's passion. And then Ray Vecchio returned. And I realised I still needed him as well.
I also have hopes that, over time, they will come to need each other as much as I need them. Because, although I am reluctant to admit it, alone I'm not what either of them needs. Ray Kowalski needs someone he won't feel indebted to (And although he insists he isn't, I know he must be, I saw him after the Beth Botrelle case.) and Ray Vecchio needs someone he doesn't see as perfect, someone he does not feel he has to impress.
Hopefully our complimentary needs will allow our relationship to form an equilibrium. Because we truly are a matched set, my two Rays and I.
***
I've always said I'll try anything once. And I've always known Fraser was a lot less straight-laced than most people think, once you got past the serge and down to the flesh and blood guy on the inside. Hell, I could tell you stories about some of the stuff we've done together.
But this? I've got no problem with it, the more the merrier, that's what I say. But I'd never have figured Fraser as the one who'd come up with it. I'm the horn-dog in this relationship; Fraser's got way more self-control than I do. That's not to say the guy does not like his sex. Oh no, Fraser can get downright cranky if he goes too long without getting any. Like that time when we were working the Lagrange case and I was sleeping at the station. Four days of that and Fraser was snipping at me left and right. But I didn't realise that was about sex until he got me home on the fifth night. I think I've still got the bruises.
To tell the truth, I've kind of got this list of all the things I ever wanted to try, sexwise I mean. I've done most of them - a lot with Stella, back in the day and some with Fraser, those things that Stella wasn't anatomically capable of, if you get my drift. But there are a couple of things I've not done and I'd pretty much given up thinking that I might, what with me and Frase swearing all but "'til death do us part," to one another. Guess I'm going to have the opportunity to tick 'threesomes' off the list after all.
It's no skin off my nose. Vecchio may not be gorgeous in the 'oh-my-God-why-isn't-that-Canadian-in-the-porn-industry' way, but he's good enough looking. And I'm no James Dean myself.
Besides, it's what Fraser wants. And I'm really bad at saying no to him. And I know that whatever happens Fraser won't abandon me. I know I'm good enough for him. 'Sides, I been working really hard to keep him interested. Pun intended.
***
Las Vegas made me realise a few things. Number one: I love Benton Fraser. In Chicago I was always running from the feeling. I didn't want to be that kind of guy, the kind of guy who had a limp wrist, spoke with a lisp, got a basketball bounced off of his face. Poor Marco. I never told Fraser the real reason Frankie was out to get him.
Number two: Benny loves me. It took me some time to realise that. But all those sideways looks, the fact he let me get close to him when no one else could, it all added up. And he never said anything, probably too afraid of being turned down. Smart guy. If he'd said anything like that back then, I'd probably have knocked him on his ass.
But I spent two years not knowing if I was going to live to see the next sunrise. That kind of thing gives a guy some perspective. So I decided that when I got back I'd tell him everything. I spent hours imagining that moment, what Benny would say, what we'd do afterwards. I'd replay it again and again in my head, adjusting things, making it perfect. It kept me sane during the times I wasn't quite sure who Ray Vecchio was anymore.
And then I got back and I saw them together and my world fell apart. I realised I'd missed my chance and I decided to make a play for Benny anyway. Hey, I'm not proud of it. But I was desperate.
And Benny said yes. On one condition - Kowalski was there as well.
So I said yes.
Because that's the third thing I realised in Vegas. If you love someone, nothing else matters. Not their irritating little habits, not their deaf-half wolf getting fur all over your seats, not their annoying tendency of causing your car to explode. And after everything I've been through, everything I've seen, everything I've done, I'm not going to let anything or anyone get in the way of my chance at love.
***
Today, at work, both Ray Kowalski and Ray Vecchio were rather tense. It was understandable I suppose, given their respective reasons for anticipating the evening's activities.
Both men went out of their way not to offend the other. If I'd known the prospect of our union would affect them this way I'd have suggested it long ago. It was rather tiresome having them at each other's throats, especially as I did not wish to take sides.
As the workday drew to a close it became apparent that none of the three of us were going to get any more work done. Ray Kowalski was fidgeting at his desk, completely failing to do any paper work and becoming increasingly agitated while Ray Vecchio was drinking coffee in the break room, having given up any pretence at working. So I suggested that it may be time to retire to Ray Kowalski's apartment.
I rode with Ray Kowalski, and Ray Vecchio followed us in his new Riv. I ride to work with Ray Vecchio if Ray Kowalski is working a different shift and therefore unavailable. I am rather amazed that Ray Vecchio has allowed me back inside his third pride and joy but he says that he "feels like taking a chance."
After we arrived at the apartment, we stood together in Ray's lounge in a lengthening and increasingly uncomfortable silence. I confess I did wonder if I had made a mistake in requesting the date of this assignation be so soon. Maybe if I had given them both more time to get used to the idea...
And then Ray Kowalski stepped forward.
***
"So, bedroom?"
And without waiting for an answer I turn and walk towards the door. There are a few seconds of silence, and then I hear the pair of them start to follow me. Good. May as well do this with somewhere comfortable to collapse afterwards.
Now we're in the bedroom, but still no one's talking. Seems like I'm the one who'll have to get this party started. I reach out and reel Vecchio in. He looks shocked, what, like I'm going to ignore him? I lay one on him and in the background I can hear Fraser's "Oh my." Yeah, he's really getting into this.
So is Vecchio and I sink to my knees in front of him and start to undo his pants. May as well stick with what I'm good at, right? Fraser moves into view and holy shit how did he get his clothes off so fast? He's kissing Vecchio now and stripping him out of his shirt while he's at it. I use the opportunity to pull off my own clothes.
Then I get back to Vecchio's dick. He's uncut, nice and long but not too fat. I dive straight on, running my tongue around the head, poking it in the slit. He's already leaking loads. Fraser's standing right behind him, his arms wrapped around Vecchio so he can fondle his balls. Of course this also means that Frase gets to rub himself against Vecchio's ass. Sneaky Mountie.
I concentrate on sucking Vecchio, giving myself a few strokes now and then so that little Ray didn't feel left out. When all of a sudden (Way sooner than I expected, guess it's been a while for Vecchio. Hey, not everyone can have their own personal sex-God on call 24-7.) he thrusts forward and starts coming down my throat.
***
It felt like lightning was running down my spine. I'd known it would be good, anything with Benny involved is guaranteed to be, but I didn't think it would be this good. Kowalski's got a great mouth on him, I'll give him that. And I thought Benny was the one with the oral fixation.
I'm already falling into that boneless, sluggish, post-orgasm state; watching lazily as Kowalski and Benny finish each other off. It doesn't bother me to see them touching each other, in fact I think I'd be getting turned on if I hadn't just come my brains out.
Benny's being jerked off by Kowalski; his head thrown back, his mouth open just a little, his tongue peeking out. He looks like a fallen angel. He makes a loud moan as he comes all over Kowalski's hand. He sinks to his knees and for a moment I think he's collapsed, but no, he's getting ready to suck Kowalski off. Kowalski grabs Benny's hair and shoves himself inside Benny's mouth. I'm half way to saying "Jeez Kowalski, could you be a little rougher?" but Benny's already swallowing him down, right down and... hair-trigger much Kowalski? I feel my cock give a half-hearted twitch. Yeah, I definitely want to see this again when my body's more up to appreciating it.
They both drop onto the bed, Fraser next to me, Kowalski on the far side. I'm not sure about the etiquette here. Do I spoon around Fraser? Lie here on my back? I'm certainly not leaving. Fraser didn't say anything about this being a one off experience and I don't see it that way. I'm not sure about Kowalski, but he certainly seemed to enjoy himself.
While I'm trying to decide Kowalski lifts his head up and grunts, "Yo, Vecchio, roll over this way, Fraser's getting cold."
This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
***
So what do you think?
Please post a comment on this story.
Read posted comments.
|
|
|